I think i peed on brittanys purse
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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