I think my vagina is haunted
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
