His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
