My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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