dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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