Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
