oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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