I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
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