i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
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