The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Non-Jews are for practice
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
