Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
