She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I forgot how hot balto sounded
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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