I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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