I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
