sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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