We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
