you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
