Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
