so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
