I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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