She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
