the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
