Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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