And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Randomize
