She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Everything about him screamed your future.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
