I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
