Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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