epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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