apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
