She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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