I'm going to jail i love you
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
