just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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