So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
