I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I am naked and annoyed.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
