I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize