Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
