dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I feel like abortions should bother me more
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
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