Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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