so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
