I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Randomize
