its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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