Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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