so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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