i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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