you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
