yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
