you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
