Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Actions speak louder than pants.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Randomize
