new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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