I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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