I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
