New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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