there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
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