GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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