2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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