hotel room ftw
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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