He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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