i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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