How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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